I've been getting a lot of crap lately, both from friends and family. I'm being told almost regularly now that I need to "get myself out there," or that I need to "make a move on _____ or maybe _______, or even _____." I was told today (quite patronizingly, may I add) that "I'm going to be alone for a really long time if I don't start looking for a man."
Excuse me? That's bullshit. Is it such a hard concept to think that maybe I have more important things to think about starting a new relationship? Is it completely inconceivable that I should be absolutely happy with my own life before I get with someone else? If I've learned anything from these last few months, it's this: despite how wonderful a relationship is, if it isn't based with two emotionally stable people, it's going to fail. I'm the first to admit that there are problems I need to solve before I could be happy with someone else. I need to be strong on my own before becoming even stronger with someone else.
And what pisses me off even more, are that the same people who are telling me to move on, are the people who are completely discrediting my past relationship. Why? Why are you acting like I'm 5, and had a little crush on the boy across the playground? You patronized me when I told you I was genuinely happy, and that I'd never felt more beautiful with anyone. You patronized me when I cried myself to sleep after it ended. And you continue to patronize me when I tell you I neither want nor need to get a new boyfriend. I'm sorry I'm not as shallow as you wish I could be, that you never believed that my feelings were true, and that you think I'm being ridiculous for not bouncing back as quick as you want. And it's completely fucked for you to tell me I need a man in order to be complete. I don't. No one does. You are a whole person, with, or without a significant other.
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