Lots on my mind.

First of all, I just want you to know how honored I am that you felt like you could tell me. I can't tell you how ballsy you are, because it would have taken me years to admit what you did. But then again, I'm sort of a pansy. You are genuinely one of the most enjoyable people I've ever known, and you're also a total SILF ;D
No worries, I will be your spirit guide whenever what we have planned happens. It's going to be a hell of a night, and I'm pretty damn stoked.


Secondly, I want to say something about gun control. In my brain, the matter of gun control is very simple. Owning a hunting gun if hunting is something you enjoy is perfectly acceptable. Also, owning a handgun in your home for protection is something I can full-heartedly get behind (well... I'm trying to stay open-minded about this). However, owning an assult weapon, or one whose only purpose is to kill others, is completely unnecessary. No American citizen needs a gun who can unleash 50 bullets within a minute. Using them in war is one thing, but we are talking about joe-shmoe around the corner. Joe Shmoe does not need that sort of gun in any situation he is going to find in his regular life. I was argued against my belief, by someone who said that a man who owns too many guns is equivalent to the woman who owns too many shoes. To that comment, I say: you're ignorance is so appalling that I now believe arguing with you is pointless. News flash! Guns are meant to injure, kill, and mame other living things. Shoes are meant to be either a fashion statement, or a basic article of clothing. Using your sense of logic, I should be able to purchase atomic bombs, just because I think they're "pretty".

Lastly, I would like to mention my fear of my own body. I am constantly afraid that I have a deathly illness, or something that is likely to destroy my life. What do I have today? Lukemia, an enlarged heart, am I diabetic? Or is it endometriosis this time? I am also afraid of how my body is percieved by others. Should I shave my legs? Should I straighten my hair? Should I really eat that brownie? These are the thoughts that run through my head every single day. And it's complete BULLSHIT. Half of it is just my fear of death, and my lack of faith in the afterlife. But the perception of my body is something completely different. It has been drilled into my, and every other american girl's head that there is one definition of beautiful. I have to have nice boobs, a tiny waist, a big butt, curvy hips, long hair, and I have to be as hairless as a small child. Despite how slim I am "required" to keep my body, I also have to be able to eat like michael fucking phelps, because girls who don't eat aren't attractive either, right? I want to live in a world where my cellulite and stretch marks are just as beautiful as Kim Kardashian's ass. Unfortunately, that is not a world where I live, and I don't want to have a daughter who will be brought up in such a fucked society.

That is all.

I understand that.

I know you think it's unnecessary, but if you'd like... or if you'd let me... I could still be that person. I like to listen.

A Universally Acknowledged Truth:

a year ago, we both understood the consequences of our actions. We understood the ending before we even began, but the pro's seemed to outweigh every con we could think of.


But guess what? The con's are worse than we ever imagined. I don't think we'll ever get it back, and that breaks my heart.


It's 10th grade all over again, except now I think your distaste is genuine, and we don't have the time to fix how broken we've become. You were one of my very, very best friends, you know.

tonight.

Some facts on emotional manipulators

1. They can’t be trusted. No matter what you say, they’ll turn the situation round so they seem like they’re a victim, and have been unfairly judged.

2. They leave you feeling crazy, or mixed up and confused. They’ll twist your words and motives so you feel misunderstood - and they rationalize their actions so you seem unreasonable.  

3. They’re great at making you feel guilty or “bad”. Nothing you can do or say is ever right to them. No matter what you try, you know it always will be wrong.

4. They are passive aggressive. They’ll smile to your face and they’ll stab you in the back … and they’ll gladly talk about you … and pass along mean gossip.

5. They have the ability to manipulate the emotional climate in a group. So, if they’re feeling happy, and life is going well, they’re the life of the party and everyone must smile. But when their life is tough then they’ll moan, groan and complain … and they’ll make sure everybody feels miserable as well.

6. They are self-absorbed and a law unto themselves. Life is always by their rules - and everything revolves round them. They’re not accountable - and they will always please themselves.

How unfortunate, I found this scrolling on tumblr; what a coincidence! Did I do something wrong? I don't know... I think I said what has been needed to be said for a very long time. And I feel good.