stupidity.

Intelligence. Something that I obviously lack. I don't know what I thought was going to happen going last night... all I know is that I felt like an idiot. I guess I got some sort of closure out of it, I can now understand the outlines of your reasoning behind the past few weeks.

And as friendship goes... I don't know how it will be possible. I thought that it would be okay when you texted me, but seeing you completely changed my opinion. How am I supposed to look at you and not see what I've seen for such a long time? It's not a switch I can just turn off... and if you can... well than maybe I was wrong about how you felt about me in the first place. Don't talk to me for the next month... I need to clear my head. I don't mean for that to sound rude, I just don't know if I can have you in my life for a while. I meant all that I said to you before, just remember that.

explanations...

I honestly felt like I was more upset about this than you were... maybe you're just better at hiding your feelings. I'm just an open book when it comes to stuff like this.

I was so excited yesterday for, what in my head, was going to be a picture-perfect moment. But then you just didn't show up. And maybe I should have specified, or reminded you.. but I don't know... I thought that maybe it meant to you all that it meant to me. but I was wrong.

And I just wish that you had given me a reason other than "I don't know" or *shrug*, but maybe you really don't know... I just need clarification.

I never wanted to break up with you, we were in this to win this. We were both trying... but maybe that isn't enough sometimes. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be... but that doesn't make this hurt any less. I feel like puking, and crying, and hiding all at the same time. This is going to be really hard, and I'm going to miss you...

sad day.